Calm Down Dearest: Excuse the mess
I needed little inspiration this week to start penning another Calm Down Dearest. Have there been any hilarious events occurring in my real life this week that I want to share, you ask?…
Calm Down Dearest: Broken Fruit
I feel like I’ve just been shagged in the bum hole. Pants round the ankles, bent over and taken from behind. Why can’t technology just fucking work? It’s literally the bane of my…
Calm Down Dearest: Legless
Wowsers. Has it really been so long since I last penned an article of Calm Down Dearest? Time certainly flies when you’re having fun, or sitting exams, or generally contemplating what to do…
Calm Down Dearest // Christmassy Feeling
I’ll level with you, I’m feeling pretty Christmassy this year – which is kind of handy given that it’s on Saturday. I think this could be my first ever year of actually being…
Calm Down Dearest // Losing Support
I’m becoming increasingly frustrated with idiots as we build up to Christmas. I don’t really enthuse about politics in general but I can’t help become involved with the latest goings on as and…
Calm Down Dearest // Enough Is Enough
Coronation Street has reached a milestone this week as it celebrates it’s 50th birthday. Now ordinarily, I’d expect a couple of party hats, a nice cake and perhaps a cheeky game of pass…
Calm Down Dearest // Mother Nature Hates You
As if the current recession isn’t shitty enough, Mother Nature has decided to punish our crappy little country as well. Not wanting to drone on about the same issues that the newspapers have…
Interview // Ellie Goulding
This week I caught up with Ellie Goulding on her latest tour as she stopped off for a gig in Lincoln. It was a miserable sodding day and by the time I reached…
Calm Down Dearest // Calendar Confusion
It’s been a funny old week leading up to the latest ham-fisted article from Calm Down Dearest. I wouldn’t have thought much could shock me this week, not since I’ve been pretending that…
Calm Down Dearest // I’d Best Buy a Hat
Seen as the biggest names around the United Kingdom and indeed the world have sought to congratulate the countries newest married couple to be, I thought it was only appropriate for Calm Down…
Calm Down Dearest // I’ll Cry If I Want To
It’s my birthday! I was born precisely 25 years ago, which incidentally means my mother and father were bumping uglies precisely 25 years and 9 months ago. I prefer to imagine that my…
Calm Down Dearest // Code Breakers
The longer I live in a city, the more people I see walking around who seem to be important purely because of how they dress. Whether it is the suit they wear or…
Calm Down Dearest // RICE
What’s been happening since we last conversed? Well, I’ve just deleted the 89th email this week informing me on “how to increase your snake size” and “grow an extra 6 inches NOW” (I’ve…
Calm Down Dearest // Nature Calls
It wasn’t so long ago that I shared with you my story of woe that ended in me almost smearing faeces down myself in order to save my beloved iPhone. Thankfully, I’m not…
Calm Down Dearest // Made In China
It’s fair to say that this week hasn’t been one of my livelier of weeks. The pathetic showing England had to offer on Tuesday night was a low point and even the arrival…
Calm Down Dearest // Detrimental Benefits
I’m not normally one to get all political on your asses but finally, after much deliberation by our ‘beloved’ coalition government I am pleased to say that they’ve made a welcome addition in…
Calm Down Dearest // Our Animal Loving Nation
I’m a little confused this week as I don’t quite understand what has happened to the whole animal loving nation. What has changed? Don’t we as a country still love adorable little cats?…
Calm Down Dearest // Wedding Bells
It’s really strange to think that this time next week I’ll have lost a member of my family. Thankfully, not in a horrible sense but rather in a, thank fuck my sister is…
Calm Down Dearest // Hell Bound
If you didn’t already know, Pope Benedict XVI is to visit Britain from 16th to 19th of September 2010. Don’t get too excited but that means his holiness will be rocking up tomorrow!…
Calm Down Dearest // Paying the Price
I’m reliably informed by various news formats that the once loved Tony Blair is the victim of various protests. He’s cancelled his latest public appearances as it was only the other day when…
Calm Down Dearest // Memory Lane
As I was digging around in an old draw today trying to find my beloved Natalie Imbruglia CD (yep, you’re right – just for the inlay) I found some classic old school memorabilia….
Calm Down Dearest // Food for Thought
‘Teddy Long’ adds to his online diary with another Calm Down Dearest.
Calm Down Dearest // Gym’ll Fix It
‘Teddy Long’ adds to his online diary with another Calm Down Dearest.
Calm Down Dearest // Shazam!
Calm Down Dearest; ‘Teddy Long’ moans about his life to make yours seem better.
Calm Down Dearest // Kick It Out
‘Teddy Long’ brings us more wit and charm, as he moans about his life to make yours seem better.
Calm Down Dearest // The Year of the Stag
‘Teddy Long’ brings us more wit and charm as he moans about his life, to make yours seem better.
Calm Down Dearest // Holiday Hell
Calm Down Dearest; ‘Teddy Long’ moans about his life to make yours seem better.
Calm Down Dearest // Disney Lapland
Calm Down Dearest; ‘Teddy Long’ moans about his life to make yours seem better.
Calm Down Dearest // In’fringe’ment
Calm Down Dearest; ‘Teddy Long’ moans about his life to make yours seem better.
Calm Down Dearest // Brotherly Love
Calm Down Dearest; ‘Teddy Long’ moans about his life to make yours seem better.
