I’d love to not care about Radio 1, I really would. But there are times in life when you just have to sit back and accept the inevitable; those times are when the alternative choice of listening at work is REAL RADIO – THE NORTHWEST’S PREMIER FEEL GOOD STATION.
So, Chris Moyles’ announcement this morning that he is to finish his Radio 1 Breakfast Show, after close to ten years of broadcasting, made me sit up and choke on my coffee a little bit. Could this really be it?
God knows why anyone in their right mind is sad for a second that he is leaving; he is a truly awful presenter. My top three (of many) arguments against him are that:
- He is more inane than Fearne Cotton. Fearne Cotton’s voice is a weapon the Mysterons would use to melt the brain of Captain Scarlet and reduce it to grey matter. Chris Moyles is worse.
- Finding “Comedy Dave” funny would be a sackable offence in any other industry.
- John Peel didn’t like him and John Peel was right about everything. Moyles’ response? “It’s only a matter of time before John pops his clogs.”
This is a man who has faced controversies because of alleged sexism, homophobia and racism as well as countless run-ins with colleagues, directors and guests on his show for being an arrogant arsehole. Chris Moyles deserves no sympathy.
Around here would be the place to insert a lengthy discussion of the relevancy of radio in the internet age but it’s not Radio 1 which is irrelevant, it’s Moyles. No other presenter is as embarrassingly ill-at-ease with the whole ‘In New Music We Trust’ thing (I’ve heard him say, several times of tracks he’s obviously being forced to play, something to the extent of “oh here’s a track which I don’t like I don’t know the name or artist cos it was rubbish so there”). He has the personality of a brick in a washing machine and to gain any satisfaction from his programme is to degrade yourself.
Having said that, the appointment of Nick Grimshaw as his replacement leaves a lot to be desired. Grimshaw is someone who seems to have done nothing with his life apart from look rate indie all over the shop, and who has mistaken “interesting personality” for being immensely irritating.
So, where do you go from there? I would actually give Radio 1 a bit of credit; recently they’ve made more use some younger talent including Greg James (who actually gave Suck It and See a bit of airplay), Jaguar Skills and Gemma Cairney. Scott Mills, who is becoming more like a caricature of himself every day, would be a fantastic appointment in the breakfast slot. His combination of razor sharp wit, innovative show features and off the wall sense of humour make him close to the ideal candidate.
But even discussing the pros and cons of different personalities misses the point; shouldn’t Radio 1 be about the music? Fuck off to BBC2 if you want a chat show, I don’t care about the time, I want some great music to wake me up!
People who have a genuine passion for music in the BBC (Nihal, Lauren Laverne, the fantastic Shaun Keaveny) will never be considered for a role like this until audience levels and ratings aren’t the top priority. Which is why, in 8-10 years time, I’ll be complaining how Nick Grimshaw got fat and nothing’s changed.
In other news, the video above was released about 6 weeks ago and I failed to notice, despite waiting for a new track from Chew Lips religiously since January 2011. So whilst me mock the resignation of Moyles, enjoy some real music above, instead of having to sit through his incoherent warbling and favourite Nickleback tracks – he’s a Nickleback fan right? Probably – tit.
Track of the Week: Chew Lips – ‘Do You Chew?’