CCD: Christmassy Feeling

calm down xmas

I’ll level with you, I’m feeling pretty Christmassy this year – which is kind of handy given that it’s on Saturday. I think this could be my first ever year of actually being excited and prepared, all together. I’ve bought all my presents, I’ve wrapped all my presents and I’ve even done my Christmas cards for once. I used to think that the mad Christmas Eve shop was what, as a man, you’re meant to do. It isn’t – that requires effort. The real manly way is to do it, it to get every single piece of shopping online and get it delivered straight to your door. Bit late now though if you haven’t…

The weather is still wreaking havoc on us all and many of us, potentially me included, won’t be able to travel back to see the family for Christmas day. What’s that all about? Whilst most people are hoping for miracles that probably won’t happen, I’m revelling in the fact that I might just avoid having to endure those awkward moments where you’re forced to smile politely having just received the shittest present ever bought. I like to think that I’ve mastered that fake smile after many years of torment. I’m always intrigued to know what peoples best ever Christmas present has been though. Mine? Well, I’ll never forget waking up one morning to find that big Nick had left me a Sega Mega Drive behind the sofa. Ah, happy days. When though, will people realise that inside I’m still a childish little boy longing for toys and games? It was only last year that my sister bought me the transformer Bumblebee voice changing helmet. Quite possibly my favourite grown up toy – I’m just longing for someone to invite me to a fancy dress so I can paint myself yellow and cover myself in foil.

I can’t quite put my finger on what’s got me so excited about Christmas this year. Part of me wants to put it down to the £3 Christmas tree we have up in our lounge, or perhaps it’s the Christmas card we received from the local takeaway with our food. We’ve even got ourselves a Christmas card with a recipe for smoked summer peaches with vanilla yoghurt inside… mind you, that was actually meant for the previous tenant – but there it stands regardless, proud as punch under our delightful little tree.

Thankfully, I think the Christmas games may well be at an end for my family and if I’m perfectly honest I think they should be banned entirely. By all means play some computer games, but any other games tend to lead to misery. Either the game of Monopoly that you think is a good idea ends in divorce or even worse, someone will want to play Twister. Just as the spinner lands on ‘left hand green’ you’ll realise that straddling your mother and staring directly at your father’s crotch isn’t really that much fun. Leave the games to one side, be polite to those you don’t really like and try to enjoy your Christmas day.

A very merry Christmas to you all.

You can find even more witticisms from Teddy over at the Calm Down Dearest page on Facebook or Twitter. Just make sure you dash back over here every Wednesday, ok?