Calm Down Dearest // Wedding Bells

It’s really strange to think that this time next week I’ll have lost a member of my family. Thankfully, not in a horrible sense but rather in a, thank fuck my sister is finally getting married and is the responsibility of someone else sense. This Saturday will see my sister marry away from the family and have to give up the family name.

Seen as I’m an usher I’ve got the strict responsibility of making sure that people sit in the right places, with the groom’s friends and family to the left and the brides to the right. Or is it the grooms to the right and the brides to the left? Thankfully, my brother in law to be has kindly helped out there by virtue of his ethnicity. I’ll simply direct the Caucasians to one side and other ethnicities to the opposite. It’s a wedding with a slight apartheid theme.

My brother in law to be is one hell of a lucky guy though, I’ll give him that. I mean, my sister is lovely. She’s a genuinely nice person, fun to be around and not bad looking, as far as sisters go. She does however suffer with extreme stubbornness and the ability to slam doors harder than any other women I’ve met to date. I’ll never forget sitting around the dinner table lapping up a gravy dinner courtesy of our mother. She’d cooked up the full works and my sister was quite frankly, being an ungrateful little cow – so much so in fact, that she outright refused to eat the rest of her dinner as she wanted pudding. My parents, being the good role models that they are, told her that she’d have to eat the rest of her vegetables before she could have her pudding and alas, the stalemate began. An hour easily passed until my father couldn’t take it anymore. He smashed his role model credibility to smithereens as he pushed my sister’s stubborn little face right into her gravy dinner. I’d never seen a girl crying with mash potato, gravy and a carrot stuck to their face before so I did the only thing a little brother knew how to – I fell off my chair laughing.

I am particularly looking forward to my father’s speech at the wedding although I’m a little curious as to what topics he’s going to cover in it. There’s always my sister’s god awful dancing competitions that we were forced to sit through, or perhaps he’ll tell the story of when she scalded her lady garden with a cup of tea. It’s all comedy gold! So here’s to a smooth running wedding day on Saturday as I wish her all the best. After all, deep down she’s a bit of a legend. And a bit of a SILF…