We Give Advice, But We Do Not Inspire Conduct

chickensex

Yahoo! Answers is a great idea, its one of those simple ideas that you cant believe didn’t take off sooner than it did. You ask a question and let the entire web give you advice. See where the flaw in the plan lies? Literally anyone can answer, and they do. The answers fall into 5 categories: Helpful (rare), Old wives tales/school yard rumour’s told as if complete fact, An irrelevant opinion (Your a dick, get a life. etc), Absolute dribble that makes no sense and then…downright dangerous advice which would probably get you killed.

Ok so the answers are bad and paint a picture of a gaggle of pitchfork wielding psycho’s baiting the poor proposer into doing something idiotic. The Questions themselves though? Worse. Now a good 20% of all Yahoo! questions are submitted by 13 year old boys with a picture of Megan Fox in one hand, an Xbox pad in the other, for a joke. However lets take a look at 8 of the best/worst questions ever asked by anyone ever…ever.

If your not weeping for humanity by the end of this list, you must be dead inside or you must have been the one asking the questions.

chickensex

You tell him to stop having sex with birds! Of course this guy did the classic “I’m asking for a mate”, yeah right, you might as well wear a t-shirt saying “Bird sex, its what I do”. Of course the top answer on this one is also amusing, they casually advice the use of contraception to avoid bird flu.

caps

Wow, our world really has changed when simply capitalising a typeface in an email can tear a family apart. It used to be that it would take a plague of small pox, a massive tragedy or a rabid bear to tear a family apart or ruin someones life. But in 2009 all it takes is caps lock.

Steam

Now if i had a vagina (sadly I was cursed with one of those penis things everyone is talking about) and it was in fact leaking steam, I am pretty certain I would dialing 999 straight away, not loading up my pc, logging into yahoo! and then waiting for reply.

gayson

Is there a definitive way you can tell? Well you could catch him having sex with a man, wait you already did that…Are you even aware of how the world works?

poop

Yes it is funny, its also remarkably tragic. Might be best to talk to your parents about why they haven’t bothered to potty train her as a child.

mermaid

I hope to God that this person is under 10. I get the feeling though that she is a single middle aged woman obsessed with Harry Potter, has 12 cats all with their own animal print fleeces.

parents

NO. Next Question.

mirror

I just have this amazing image of someone scanning a mirror in to the PC and having this forlorn look on their face when they realised they actually didn’t understand the laws of physics.

I love this world!